So true. Very few people are truly listened to. We need to value busyness less and attentive awareness more.
As a primary school chaplain, my daily goal is the listen better than I did yesterday. Now in my sixth year of applying this rule, I have amazing conversations with studentsmand parents almost daily.
I see the role of listening deeply as an honour and a joy!

I’m 56. I had an excellent understanding of mentoring at the age of 25 with both a cultural perspective on it and a theological understanding of the commands to mentor.

I refer to myself as a listener. I listen carefully to culture, sub-culture, institutions, corporations. I try and rest my thumbs on the pulses of these systems we all have connection with at various levels, and I practice letting scripture throw light onto how how me must live in these systems. Locking for patterns in people and especially people of faith.

When it comes to Elders and Mentoring, I’m shocked at how wide the road is full of people over 50 who are reaching for the rocking chair, RV, or active lifestyle for their own personal pleasure and monuments of personal arrival. Cashing in their life chips for entertainment and one of a kind experiences or better known as Bucket list.

Inside this huge group of people are many who have the combination of Eldership and Mentoring gifting. To think that Men and Women finally arrive to the top of the mountain at age 50 or 60 and are mentally at the top of their game . . . ?? —— and they unplug from real life and as many demands on them as possible in order to live a life out of Magazine photos?

What happen to the idea and the fiery passion to burn bright and hard in the last decades of one’s life? To pitch your ride sideways at the end of life with the doors off, smoke pouring from all corners, completely used up and nothing left? Spending every once of who you are before you leave this place? Jim Elliot called it, “ Living with wreckless abandon.” I think he wrote that in his journals at age 22.

We have a crisis going on with men over 50 in how to live a meaningful life. Eldership vs. Bucket List. Eldership vs. RVs. Eldership vs. Travel. Eldership vs. Property w/Tractors.

Thank you so much for this post! Something I have been wrestling with for the last four years. I am 62. For so many years I was the alpha male. I led a vibrant church and have helped plant several churches from that alpha position. Now I coach and train and develop others in their dreams. To be honest, it is still very difficult as I find I miss that alpha influence. I try to think of it as a sports figure. How does Peyton Manning feel watching football? Does he miss it? Recently I began to see a counselor over some of these issues. Dealing with who I was to who I am. Where do I fit? I am apostolic (AE on APEST) in my nature and am embracing those ideas. Like Paul who came along the side of so many to help them achieve so much. Most of the time I feel lonely. I wonder if Paul felt that way.

I am letting go of who I was to find who I am and how the Lord wants to use me.

I have told people in the past that they should find someone 10-20 years older than them and ask them what they should be thinking about in the next 20 years. I wish I had someone to talk with on these matters.

It’s hard sometimes being in a room of many leaders and remembering when most people wanted to talk to me because of what I was doing. Now you get a nod or greeting while they run to the hot hand of the day.

The Lord is helping me process this as I age. He reminded me of my children who are in their 40s that It is about them now and not about me. So I do all I can to join them where they are in life and cheer them on.

My life verse is Deut 34:7 Moses was one hundred and twenty years old when he died. His eyes were not dim nor his natural vigor diminished.

I still have vision and strength and will always want that. How it applies is quite different.

I have read through Leighton Ford’s book – The Attentive Life he is very transparent with some of these aging thoughts.

I will order the book you mentioned. Thanks again!

Thank you so very much for sharing this! I somehow knew that God would use my years of searching, seeking, failing and experience but this gives the motivation to keep growing in the senior years and coach and mentor those coming behind. So well said!

Great list.

Yes, I read Falling Upwards a few years ago. Some helpful stuff there.