His favorite food was candy bars, he smoked pot as if it were oxygen. He knew what it meant to be a friend. I miss Kurt and everything he was everyday. One more walk in the Gorge laughing at Philosophy.

I have struggled with this for some time; what does it mean to be kind—to extend grace, forgiveness and mercy to others? My default is to extend an olive branch, to attempt to see from perspectives I don’t necessarily agree with, to forgive things that seem unforgivable; I yearn to be able to truly understand why people behave the way they do and grant them grace; or, if I can’t understand them, then at least show tenderness toward another’s view, actions, or beliefs.

Often this attitude can be seen as aloof or unaffected, or, to use a taboo phrase of the day, “too tolerant.” I think it is imperative for us to understand that there is a difference between kindness and tolerance. That kindness does not equate to dispassion.

I believe that kindness takes energy and courage, that kindness is the antidote to many of our fears, anxieties and doubts. I believe one of our biggest problems is that we don’t slow down enough to allow ourselves the time to be kind.